Nostalgia is a complicated feeling. It's hot and messy, but also bittersweet; it's that intense tug at your heart that reminds you of a time gone by.
For some people, this feeling can bevery heavyydebilitating.
If you're struggling with homesickness, here are some helpful tips from experts on how to deal with it.
Treat it like you would any addictive behavior
Living in this modern age where everything isacceleratedand demands that we all overcome our inner chaos, it makes sense that we cling to the simplicity and comfort of the past that is gone.
The truth, however, is that nostalgic memories areskewed— that's why when we feel nostalgic,we only relive the good parts. The dark sides of the past left behind account for our lack of feelings of security and clarity in our current state.
The pleasure and consolation of longing areaddictiveyextremely powerful. So the right way to deal with it is to treat it like you would any addictive behavior.
Use mindfulness meditation
The most effective strategy is to employ mindfulness meditation. Since it is the mind's tendency to reflect and restore the memories we are struggling with, mind training is the most ideal approach.
Mindfulness meditation will promote full awareness of every feeling occurring in the moment and focus on the things worth celebrating and appreciating today. With constant and gradual practice, recurring feelings of nostalgia will bebrakingyhelpless.
Related:How to Improve Mindfulness and Meditation (Using Your Learning Style)
Perhaps in the analogue world nostalgia invited and perhaps even required time to bethe distanceyremote.
One would close off the world and go into the corners of your mind to revisit a sacred or shocking time in your past to revel in a bygone era and/or confront a pivotal event.
But in the digital society, nostalgia can accompany us with much more immediacy, it cantripwith us.
Unlike ancient songs and poems, along with verses from books and films, and essential images can be much more easily integrated into our lives that preserve the depth of the past andto clarifyhe.
Here are some quick and fun ways to work on our own nostalgia:
If you can make a meme, you can say it
We all know that memes need to be earned. And chances are, our nostalgic life moments probably fit the bill for a meme.
Investigating the relevance of the event in a concise line with a cool image can help us appreciate our past without getting hung up on it. We can do itbite-sized,funny, youimportant.
If you can emote, you can emoticon
We love our emojis, right? And the most recalcitrant will project the"mood monitors".When it comes to nostalgia, lining up the right kind of emoji (or a series of them) can help us contextualize parts of our ancient times with modern clarity and insight.
While the goal isnoTo reduce the meaning of our nostalgic moments to the latest trends, we can work to organize the old times with a modern means of digital organization. And this process can help the legacy of our nostalgia live on in many different ways.
Lauren Cook McKay
Master in Marriage and Family Therapy | Director of Marketing and Content,Divorce Answers
Start documenting your gift
Nostalgia usually occurs when the present representspsychological threats. This is your brain trying to deal with the present, so take this as a cue to look at the positive aspects of the present and start documenting them throughPhotographyodaily.
It helps a lot to connect the joy of the past with your current state to establish ato improveperspective of your life.
Make a list of the emotions you feel on your good days.
One way to associate nostalgia with optimistic feelings is to make a list of what isBOMabout the present This helps reinforce that your past has helped you to improve and gain more meaning about how you got to this point in your life.
It would be helpful to deal with homesickness if you areconsciousof some things in life that you have compared before.
Maintain meaningful and satisfying relationships.
Nostalgia has to do with longing for what you've felt before. In the same way,avoidance,isolation, youlack of communicationcan trigger nostalgia. Naturally, this could be related to how well you connect with your friends and family.
Also look for new relationships by making new friends outside your usual circle so that you experience somethingnovoand stay anchored in the present.
Whether it's the teddy bear you got for your eighth birthday, the necklace your grandmother gave you for your 18th birthday, or the shirt your father wore, many items can make you feelnostalgic.
One cannot help but feel when seeing or touching these items. But what happens when we feel nostalgic? While some things may bring back sad memories, others make us feel joy.
Related:Why does longing hurt? (+10 ways to deal with it)
So how should we deal with nostalgia? There are some positive ways to do this, including:
diary about it
Sometimes writing things down can help us.tuneto our feelings. You might think you're sad for a reason, but when your writing starts to flow, you might find your head is elsewhere.
If you're lucky, you might find out why you felt a certain way. Putting pen to paper, or keys on a computer, is agreatway to find out how you really feel.
Do what you can to make others happy.
If it's that teddy bear you got as a kid, it's probablyfelizthoughts and memories that surround you. You can keep the item and continue to enjoy those happy feelings, or why not pass on the joy?
Yes, it is possible,butCheerful items like stuffed animals that are no longer used. Then, when you think of the toy, you can smile, knowing you've spread some joy to someone else.
Women's and children's shelters are always looking for items for their residents, and nothing can bringhappinessto a child's face like a toy can.
Remember the past but look to the future
Of course, it's okay to reminisce and reminisce about the good times you had. It's fun to think about how young and fun you once were. However, it's even better to look to the future and all its unique possibilities.
maybe it's anew degree, anew career, the onenew boy- skin babies included. Regardless of what the future holds, it's fun to imagine the possibilities.
Instead of just having nostalgic thoughts, lookaffirmativelyfor the future and be grateful for the past. After all, your story is what made you who you are today.
We all know that melancholy longing for times gone by. We listen to music that transports us to ato improvetime, or think of a place that immediately brings us comfort.
When the present is a little bitter, don't bittersweet thoughts keep us stuck in the past? On the contrary, gone are the days when homesickness was considered a mental illness.
Today, it is considered an emotion that can even make us feel good. So the best way to deal with nostalgia isembrace it and harness its power.
embrace the nostalgia
Nostalgia can help us come to terms with the complexity of human emotions. we can be bothfelizysadofrustratedygrateful. Feeling our full range of emotions isnojust good emotional hygiene; it opens the door to richer experiences, allowing us to live fuller lives.
Embrace these trips down memory lane and fully appreciate the emotional journey they take you on. By fearlessly connecting your past and present, you will come closer to your authentic self in the future.
enjoy the longing
In fact, we can only truly appreciate happiness when we know great sadness. It is also comforting to cry out for better times. We console ourselves with the fact that difficulties aretemporary. Happy memories tinged with pain or longing help us experiencegratitude.
Nostalgic thoughts of loved ones we have lost make usappreciatethe people in our lives, leading tobut strongconnections It's about taking advantage of these core benefits of nostalgia rather than looking back.
Say the word "stop" repeatedly when a nostalgic memory comes up
It's easy to get distracted by happy memories when you want to go back to them. Unfortunately, these happy moments can interfere with your focus on many aspects of your life, such asto work,relations,exercise,tasks, etc
Because of this distraction, you may produce mediocre work or take longer than average to complete tasks.
From experience, the best way to combat homesickness to regain focus on your tasks is to constantly say"arrest prison"when a happy memory comes to mind.
The happy memory should appear less often in your mind
I used this technique to keep a very happy person from popping into my mind too often when I didn't want them to pop up when I was studying or working.
In moments when I saw this person come to mind, I immediately said the word"ARREST PRISON"consistently for several months before this person stopped coming to my mind frequently.
As a result of this tactic, I was able to do very well academically in my senior year of college, with a 3.85 GPA and a 4.0 GPA my previous two semesters of college, and I did very well in the part-time job I he had. . while I was at school.
I promise you that if you use this tactic, any nostalgic memories you have will bereducedover time and will allow you to perform very well in whatever you are doing.
Look forward and be grateful for the gift.
I have my share of nostalgia. I must say it really can bedisgustingdeal with it sometimes, especially if you feel nostalgic about a previous job.
Before working as a marketing manager, I worked as a freelance content writer. I enjoyed what I was doing, was able to work my own flexible hours, and had great co-workers. The pay was just minimum wage, but it was so much more fun working with friends.
Dealing with article release and review deadlines was tricky and challenging at times. However, I did a lotlasting friendshipswhile I was working there. I was really happy.
I worked at my previous job for five years until I had to leave to get a better paying job. Although I invested a lot of time and effort into my work and the relationships that went with it, I felt I deserved it.advance.
I managed to stay this long because I was just trying to save face andavoidWasting the time I spent However, this was hindering my growth. I needed to go.
At the moment, I'm doing well with a high-paying job as a marketing manager. I still feel nostalgic about my previous work as a writer, but I try to push those thoughts away withgratitude. I am reminded every day how grateful I am to have been blessed with this job.
My previous job made me happy, butnolet me grow as much as my current job. My heart aches and yearns for the old days, but now I can't change the past. I havehope,be nicefor now andBe optimistfor better and happier working days to come.
Related:18 Things to Be Thankful For (The Ultimate List)
Nostalgia deals with our feelings and takes us on a trip to the past, remembering our past experiences, and can causemixedfeelings, because it depends on the experience that comes up.
laugh about it
No matter the situation or the memory, I always laugh atnobe arrested by him.
If it is successful, living in the past unconsciously impedes one's progress, then many people live in their fantasies, and when they are cleared of their illusions, they will know that they have done more.Damagegreat
Related:How to forget the past and move on
And if I laughed, looking at the progress I made after such an experience.
share your story
For me, I share my story with my peers and describe the lessons I learned from my experience and how I was able to develop myself using those lessons. When I do this, it relieves me of such a burden.
Set small goals to avoid regretting your past actions
As all people have evolved minds, we can remember events or places that impacted us in some way. Could it beBOMohorrible, and both can havepositiveynegativeeffects in your life.
Nostalgia is simply a memory-based flashback to everything mentioned above. There is always something in life thatnoI want to remember and let go. Thus, having a good memory can be both ablessingit is acursing.
Heto improveWays to deal with homesickness are:
- you must score goals. Humans are a species that, when they experience success, begin toto forgettheir past, so they start by setting small goals and working hard to achieve them.
What if you suddenly left the house with your car keys in your hand, not knowing where you were going? After a while, you'll get bored and get it wrong several times before giving up.
Setting small goals will help youavoidregretting why you should have done something. - Stop connecting or obsessing over something. When you chase what you are most attached to, longinggreve.
- Nobody will be here forever sostop taking life seriously.
- stop taking anything personally, Eithervictoryoloss. You can find solace in this store of sentimental memories if you feelalone,failed, ouncertainabout the meaning of its existence.
Still, this comfort will only last a short time. Instead of staying indoors when you feel lonely, go outside and try again, harder this time, when you feel like you've failed. - Try moving to a different city, house or workplace and make new friends, I'm fatallpossible. You may find yourself in an environment where you don't have time or need to go back to your old thoughts.
Related:How to Meet People and Make Friends in a New City
Write your memories on paper.
As a relationship specialist, I sometimes meet clientsfightingto deal with the longing. It prevents them from remembering things they shouldnothey keep in the first place, for example, the memories of their former companions.
However, nostalgia can be the source of a tragic past or a happy childhood. When it comes to melancholic or happy nostalgia, you must write your memories down on paper.
Burn the paper along with your memories or store it in a box.
If it's a miserable experience from your past,burnthe paper along with your memories. On the other hand, when it comes to apleasurablememory, you can store the sheet of paper in a box. That way, you can't forget the good things that brought joy to your life.
Romanticize the present moment
I would say our history seems to have beenhappierwhat it really was. When we face adversity in the present, we often forget howhorribleyagonizingpast experiences were
We no longer experience these feelings; thus, the past seems much simpler.
This leads us to idealize it and, many times, consider it ideal. An excellent suggestion is to start romanticizing our current life. This is possible throughscrapbook,Photography,videography, etc
As in the past, we want to emphasize the positive aspects of the present. You may remember that the present is full ofpleasureshowing photos of your new favorite experiences.
Save movie tickets, game tickets, and anything else that has been a memorable experience recently. If you're feeling sentimental, you shouldvisit againthose objects
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FAQs
How long is too long to be homesick? ›
Studies have shown homesickness to last between 3 weeks to 1 year and 4 months. The length of time and intensity of homesickness is heavily influenced by a number of factors: personality, culture, duration of time from home, frequency of visits or contact with home, and reason for leaving.
What makes homesickness worse? ›Talking to friends and family can make homesickness worse for very young children or for people who are away from home for a very short time. You can also spend a bit of time on social networking sites to connect with friends and see what they're up to. It may help to not feel they are impossibly far away.
How do you push through homesickness? ›- Let yourself be homesick for a bit. ...
- Go out and keep yourself busy. ...
- Bring home comforts to university. ...
- Keep in touch with home (but not too much!) ...
- Stay off social media. ...
- Explore your new surroundings. ...
- Don't compare yourself to other people. ...
- Plan one nice thing for yourself a day.
Homesickness is an emotional state of mind, where the affected person experiences intense feelings of longing due to separation from home environment and loved ones. The feelings that are most identified with homesickness are nostalgia, grief, depression, anxiety, sadness, and withdrawal.
What triggers homesickness? ›What Causes Homesickness? The primary cause of homesickness is a sudden transition or separation from home, but some people are more prone to homesickness than others. Children with a history of anxiety and shy children may be especially prone to homesickness.
What is the reverse of homesick? ›“Fernweh” is a German word for “farsickness,” the opposite of homesickness. Scotland received high scores in surveys where people were asked to name the places for which they felt fernweh. You know when you've been away too long.
What is severe homesickness in adults? ›In fact, mild homesickness that gradually decreases over time is normal and not cause for concern. However, homesickness that is severe, persists for a long period of time, or significantly affects your life may indicate an underlying mental health issue like an anxiety disorder or depression.
Will I ever stop being homesick? ›Nearly everyone has been homesick at one point in their lifetime. Thankfully, homesickness does not last forever; living in a foreign country is a chance of a lifetime, and you should do your best to make the most of it! Exploring the reasons behind your homesickness can help you with that.
Does the feeling of homesickness ever go away? ›Researchers have found that homesickness can last anywhere from three weeks to more than a year. In one study, 94% of students reported experiencing homesickness at some point during their first 10 weeks of college. There's no quick fix to homesickness — it takes time and patience.
What does homesickness do to your body? ›Intense homesick feelings can also result in difficulty focusing on topics that are not related to home. Physical effects. Homesickness can also lead to physical symptoms such as lack of appetite, stomach problems, lack of sleep, headaches, and fatigue.
How much homesickness is normal? ›
Some may feel homesick for one weekend or one month. Some don't get homesick at all. For many students, feelings of homesickness typically subside after the first semester.
What are the stages of homesickness? ›- Home Sickness Phase 1: The Calm Before the Storm.
- Home Sickness Phase 2: The Crumble.
- Home Sickness Phase 3: Denial and Regret- Hell.
- Phase 4: Drifting.
If you are an introvert, don't worry, there are ways to socialize without going to a giant party, like joining a small study group, having a picnic among friends, and visiting museums — the main idea is to find fun pastimes between studying and classes so that you can overcome the loneliness and homesickness.
What do you say to someone who is homesick at college? ›Try calling up a friend, parent, or sibling and telling them how you feel. [5] For example, you might say something like, “I'm feeling really sad and I think it's because I'm homesick.” Let them know how being homesick is affecting you, such as if it's making it hard to concentrate or enjoy fun things.
Is it OK to cry when homesick? ›No matter how old you are, it's normal to feel homesick when you are far away from home. Homesickness can feel different to different people. Some people may have frequent feelings of sadness and loneliness. Some people may cry often.
How can I stop missing my home? ›- Focus on the positive. I try to focus on the positive aspects of wherever I am. ...
- Don't call home too often. DON'T CALL HOME EVERY TIME YOU MISS THEM! ...
- Keep in touch (because mom misses you). ...
- Make new friends abroad. ...
- Write out your feels. ...
- Treat yo'self to a "day off."
If you are homesick, you feel unhappy because you are away from home and are missing your family, friends, and home very much. She's feeling a little homesick.
Can homesickness cause a mental breakdown? ›Homesickness can lead to more serious mental health issues such as depression, so it's important that you confront it. However, always remember that it's perfectly normal to miss familiar surroundings and struggle to adapt to new ones - feeling homesick isn't a weakness or something to be embarrassed about.
What to do when you miss your family? ›- Embrace homesickness. Being homesick is hard, but it happens to the best of us. ...
- Give yourself a social media break. ...
- Keep yourself busy. ...
- Spend time with friends - new or old. ...
- Do one nice thing for yourself every day.
Homesickness can lead to more serious mental health issues such as depression, so it's important that you confront it. However, always remember that it's perfectly normal to miss familiar surroundings and struggle to adapt to new ones - feeling homesick isn't a weakness or something to be embarrassed about.
How do you know if homesickness is too much? ›
In fact, mild homesickness that gradually decreases over time is normal and not cause for concern. However, homesickness that is severe, persists for a long period of time, or significantly affects your life may indicate an underlying mental health issue like an anxiety disorder or depression.
What are the effects of homesickness on mental health? ›Homelessness, in turn, amplifies poor mental health. The stress of experiencing homelessness may exacerbate previous mental illness and encourage anxiety, fear, depression, sleeplessness and substance use.
Does calling home make homesickness worse? ›In a study of people from other countries working in London, England, those who kept in regular contact with friends and family back home were less homesick than those who didn't. But daily phone calls may make you feel even more homesick. Maybe call home once or twice a week instead of every day.
What is the psychology behind homesickness? ›In the manual of mental disorders of the American Psychological Association, homesickness appears as a possible manifestation of separation anxiety. Other findings show that a tendency towards fatalism, the belief of having little control over one's environment, has a negative impact. Situational factors also matter.
Why do I miss home so much? ›Being homesick is an emotional response when you are separated from things that are familiar to you. Humans have experienced homesickness for as long as we have been around. It is caused by our attachment to things we love and that make us feel comfortable.